3 factors that kill the romantic love


The love between two people remains a mystery. Despite the fact that countless scientists have researched them and philosophers have analyzed them again and again. After all, we understand today at least a little better, why it comes to love between two people. And today we understand better the individual factors that can kill the romantic love.

In addition, we have to keep in mind that relationships are much less stable in our day than they were in the past. This has its advantages and disadvantages. The freedom to start and end romantic relationships is a victory over the hypocrisy or fatalism that prevailed before. At the same time, the ability to deal with conflicts has almost disappeared. The result of this is that more and more people are alone.

In an idealized world, relationships are entered into eternity. Couples leave the vagaries of the early days behind. They grow together and create a strong bond with each other. That's why it's important to look at the factors that can shake relationships. When you understand the signs, you can take action before the relationship is definitely over.

“When someone you love leaves, you try to stop them with your hands, and you hope that you will catch their heart as well. But it doesn’t work that way. The heart has legs that you can’t see.” [translation]
-Federico Moccia-

1. Poor communication

Good communication with them is not so much about finding new topics that you can talk about or having amusing conversations. The truth is that good communication is much easier than that. It is enough to respectfully say what you think and how you feel at the moment.

Bad communication is more complicated. Lying, withholding information and manipulation are becoming increasingly difficult to endure and burden the relationship. They require more physical energy and greater emotional and intellectual effort.

One of the factors that can kill romantic love is taking false communication patterns. This is the case, for example, if you want to say something but actually say something completely different. Or if you say something with your words, but your body language and your tone express something else. It's also about patterns of communication that manipulate.

Conversations are crucial for a relationship. The wounds caused by the unspoken can never heal. Do not let bad communication become a factor that nag your relationship. Work on a good communication. First with yourself, then with your partner. Learn to understand what you feel, what you want and how you can express it.

2. Monotony

The topic of monotony is often misunderstood. Life, whether alone or with a partner, always involves boring moments. There are always routines and sometimes they aren’t very interesting. Nobody, or at least almost nobody, manages to turn his life into a permanent party or a fabulous adventure. Boredom exists. Anyone of us will ever experience her, no matter how interesting his life is.

However, we also have to point out that we are sometimes stuck in stagnant processes. This leads to depressing and monotonous daily routines, which we apparently cannot escape. Almost imperceptibly, life becomes an endless repetition of the same thing. There is no room for new or alternative.

This kind of monotony is able to kill a romantic love. In this case, everyday desensitizes, numbs and dilutes the emotions. This makes it more likely that the relationship ends or that one of the partners starts something with another person.

3. Overcoming the honeymoon phase, the time of idealization
This is not a factor that kills romantic love in itself. We talk more about a point of inflexibility in the relationship. At this critical time, each partner must negotiate and adapt to the other person. In this way, coexistence is understood as a plus, not as something that makes the relationship unbearable.

The honeymoon phase or the phase of falling in love ends when we no longer idealize the other person. Initially, we lose our judgment in proportion to the intensity of the emotion. We can not see the other as he really is. Instead, we see him as through a kaleidoscope, we idealize. We create an image of love that seems true but not very accurate.

After a more or less short time, this distortion disappears. When all goes well, affection and mutual understanding become the glue that holds the relationship together and makes it stronger. On the other hand, this is also the moment when there are often separations. That's because the disappointment of finally seeing partners as they really are can be overwhelming, but also depressing. The span ranges from perfect to extremely faulty. This is a point where the relationship either gets stronger or ends.

Of course, the three factors described here are not the only factors that can kill romantic love. Nevertheless, the influences mentioned by us are among the most important in this regard. So it's worth taking the time to think about it and acting in good time to improve and strengthen the quality of a relationship.

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