3 factors that kill the romantic love

Self-love is incredibly important to your success!


The word self-love is, in my opinion, one of the misunderstood words. In the past, I had the image of the egocentric, narcissist in mind, the environment and the people around him are completely unimportant, the main thing he is fine and he gets benefits.

Today I know that self-love is the opposite, to be able to accept yourself as it is, with all its strengths and weaknesses. No confirmation from the outside needed. It means esteeming yourself, your own body, the soul, to see yourself as valuable. Self-love also means self-esteem. To ask yourself what are my needs, what do I feel comfortable with, what is good for me, what do I want now. It always comes to my mind as, a meditating, Tibetan monk in his orange robe and his relaxed nature.

This quote from Walt Whitman is very fitting:

I celebrate myself and sing myself, And what I assume you shall assume.
(Walt Whitman 1819-1892)

Why is it so hard to love yourself?

Do you know from your childhood also statements like?

  • Self-praise stinks
  • work before pleasure
  • what do only the neighbors think?
  • take care ...
 

When we were born there we still had no doubts about us. We were anchored in the here and now and did not even think about whether we are not enough for this world. That came with the education. That was the point where you learned to behave differently, not being what you really are, but adapting to others and putting your own needs back.

Over time you have lost more and more the feeling for yourself. You have learned to meet the needs and expectations of others and no longer listen to your own.

We fight so much for the love and appreciation of others. But if you can not love yourself, how do you want love from another person?
  • accept yourself as you are - with your strengths and weaknesses, you are unique
  • Take care of yourself - your body and your mind/thoughts
  • Find out what YOU want, stand up for it and lovingly set boundaries for others

What do you have of self-love?

Do you look at yourself as valuable, you react in a different way to your environment and are perceived differently. Do not pass on your feelings. Take your needs seriously, then you have the strength to enforce them and to fight for you. Your self-esteem helps you to find yourself. Who are you? What do you want? What are you burning for? What are your potentials?

 

  1. You become more authentic and you are less and less on lazy compromises
  2. You become more confident and take your needs and wishes seriously
  3. You become more attractive because you can also say no. You know what you want and what not
  4. You become more successful because you use mistakes to learn and are no longer afraid of them
  5. You live healthier because you pay more attention to your food and your body
 

You find the love for you in yourself. Go your own way. Do not let anyone help you. Only you know what is good and right for you. Do not let anyone tell you anything else!

So you find your Self-love

Now I'll show you which ways I went to find my self-love. There are many more options but do not overdo them. Start slowly. Choose the way that suits you most spontaneously. The main thing you start!

meditation

As always, take time for yourself for a few minutes each day and see what you did well on this day. Write it down so you have it in mind.

Take the pen and paper again the next day and write down everything you like about yourself, what you're good at, what goals you've achieved so far ...

Repeat that for a week every day, this gives you a very good overview of your self-esteem.

Do not be too critical with you! You can do many things and you have already achieved a lot! Write down everything that spontaneously comes to your mind - and no censorship !! Everything is important and belongs to it. I trust you!

Experience and desire 

Make a list with your findings from the days before. Look at it daily or meditate!

We are more programmed to think negative than to look for the positive side. To change a habit, our brain needs 60 repetitions to "program" it safely.

This also works with your list. Internalize yourself, what you can do great, what a unique person you are and your mind will focus on the positive things in your life. You do not stick to the things that were not so good. With a healthy self-esteem, you accept your mistakes, hack them off and learn from them. You know, despite your mistakes you are a loveable person with strengths and weaknesses.

attentiveness

Do you know the raisin meditation?

.1. Take a raisin in your hand. Look at it as if you had never seen it before. What does it look like? What do you notice about it? What color does it have?

2. Take it between two fingers. How does it feel? How does the surface feel? Is it easy to squeeze them?

3. How does the raisin smell? Close your eyes if necessary. Do you remember something? Which flavors can you perceive? Do you want to taste this pleasure?

4. Take it in the mouth. Do not swallow it! How does it feel in your mouth? What can you already taste? How do you feel in courage?

5.taste. What happens when you bite the raisin? What do you like? How do you check it?

6. Now you swallow them down. Do you notice something?

7. How did it feel to eat the raisin so attentively? What did you discover? What knowledge do you take from this meditation for you?

Try to be mindful and attentive every day, while paying attention to yourself and your thoughts and feelings.

 

How does it feel what you are doing?
Do you really want that, or do you just do it out of a sense of duty?
What does that remind you of?
What feeling does it call out?
...

Practice feeling what you like and what you do not like. In the second step, eliminate as much as possible of the things that are not good for you or that you do not like. Charly Chaplin writes about his self-love, he freed himself from food, people, things and situations that do him no good.

Conclusion
Self-love is a key factor of successful people. Take yourself and your wishes, feelings, dreams ... seriously. Lead a life worthy of you. You have every right to do that, for that you were born.


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