10 Tips For More Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is a quality that can inspire. Most people react much more positively to people who have a self-confident appearance. However, it is important to distinguish between self-confident and arrogant or overbearing.

Those who have self-confidence are aware of their strengths as well as their weaknesses. This aspect is often overlooked. Self-assured individuals often act as if they have no or at least fewer weaknesses. This is not the case. However, they are aware of and accept these weaknesses.

Overbearing people, on the other hand, are less aware of their weaknesses. If something goes wrong, they either try to cover up the mistakes or push them onto others. They are more egocentric. Talking about them is more about their success and about what they have done, do or will do.


People with self-confidence often have certain qualities that make them different.

  • They allow themselves to make mistakes and accept them
  • You can express your opinion without fear of criticism or rejection
  • You can accept compliments
  • You can handle criticism
  • They are more sociable and can approach others
  • They are able to express and enforce their wishes
  • You can make demands
  • You are also able to say no


The origin of a lack of self-confidence is often in our childhood. For many years, two ubiquitous types of anxiety were trained:

  1. The fear of rejection
  2. The fear of failure
These 2 fears are possibly the most common. They are often based on the experiences of our childhood. Especially children have great difficulty being rejected by others. Their self-confidence sinks and they thereby limit themselves in their development.

Failure is part of life. One is always thrown back by some circumstances. This can have different origins. We do not do something in time, we do not have the skills, or it may just be too much for a single person. Everyone is struggling with these problems. Children do not know that yet.

These two forms of fear make us shy and inhibited rather than self-confident.

The idea is usually that self-esteem could be perceived as arrogance and that in turn is rejected. If we ignored rejection anxiety or fear of failure, we would not feel inhibited. Our mindset would be full of self-confidence, our actions would be confident and we would be able to express our opinions without fear of criticism or rejection.


Self-esteem is the view we have of ourselves. How do we rate ourselves? Do we love ourself? Do we value our value? Do we respect ourself?

It is composed of our "self" and "being conscious". So Logically, it describes the knowledge about ourselves.  Nathaniel Branden describes it as is the sum of self-confidence and self-respect.

People with low self-esteem live more externally. The opinion of others is more important to them because they are not convinced of their own opinion. They focus so much on what others think, that they get a wrong picture of themselves because they do not deal enough with themselves.

Many people are looking for self-confidence everywhere except themselves. They begin to reject and condemn themselves.

Self-confidence is not subject to the other. Only you have to recognize who you are and accept you. Only when you lose the dependence on others, you can live self-determined.


The good thing is that self-esteem can be learned, contrary to the beliefs of many people. This works even if as a child even larger deficits in this area were acceptable. Our brain is neuronal plastic. This means that synapses, nerve cells or even whole brain areas can change. The brain optimizes the data paths for running processes.

This means that the brain is able to learn self-confidence. And it's worth the try!

To achieve this, we must work on our self-confidence. And especially important is the approach to our self-esteem. These two aspects are crucial.


It is possible to strengthen one's own self-esteem and, in principle, linked to simple factors.

However, one should never forget that it is a lengthy process. You do not immediately get the full confidence when you reach a goal. Self-esteem does not go up to the limit after a compliment.

You make slow progress. But you get ahead. Every day, you feel improvements in how you see yourself and, ultimately, how others see you.

So do not expect a quick miracle solution. You have to be ready to work on it.

The following steps are extremely helpful in increasing your self-confidence and self-esteem, and in the long term, strengthening your self-confidence.


This is the first and most important step on the way.

Only you are responsible for how your life is going. Do not let your life be determined by others. Make decisions based on your criteria. That is the most important prerequisite.

Only when you realize and internalize that only YOU and no one else is responsible for your actions and your life, you can strive for your goals and strengthen your self-confidence.

So many people seek to blame on other people, external circumstances or unfair society. With this they allow themselves to direct their lives into the ways in which they actually want to have it.

Do not make that mistake!

You are not given anything, so you have to take responsibility and fight for what you want.

So if you want a strong sense of self, you have to do something about it.


A large part of the people is looking for a permission for every little act. He seeks in himself, in his conscience. Many of them fail in this search and thus do not even go to certain acts or deeds.

Break out of this system. If you want to become more confident and radiant, you must start giving yourself permission to act. This demands your inner self-assurance, but also promotes it in the long term.

Probably at some point in our lives, each of us once faced this situation:

The man sees an attractive woman or the woman sees an attractive man. A decision is made. "I will address this person."

You approach the person and suddenly you doubt whether the idea was so good.

"What if I disturb that person? I do not want to put pressure. "

"I do not want to disturb the person in their conversation."

These two scenarios are meant as an example only.

And instead of confidently approaching the person and addressing them, you turn around, walk away, and miss your chance.

All just because you could not give yourself permission to talk to the other person.


The posture has two different effects. For one thing, it affects your inner self-assurance. And secondly, the correct posture radiates self-confidence.

A straight back is important, the view is forward, the shoulders back and the chest out.

Already the world feels very different.

Try to keep this posture basically. Once you feel relaxed in an upright posture, you have taken an important step!


It is enormously important to admit that mistakes are human and can happen to anyone. In our society mistakes have an extremely negative connotation. In other countries or cultures, personality development mistakes are simply part of it.

It is crucial: mistakes are not avoidable!

To achieve self-assurance, you must be able to accept your own mistakes. If you can not, they will always be in your way. At every decision to be taken.

Instead, you should recognize in mistakes the opportunity to learn. If you make a mistake, take the experience with you and use it in the future.

Only when you stop criticizing yourself for mistakes or justifying yourself can you be full of self-confidence.


Put a stop to your negative thoughts.

Positive thinking is the basis for a positive charisma. This charisma will attract your attention immediately. And positive thinking is contagious.

So think of beautiful moments or something that makes you happy or cheerful. And you already radiate more confidence.

If you want to read more about positive thinking, here is an article on the topic: Positive thinking and a positive attitude

# 6 SMILE!

This point ties in with the previous one. Smiling not only makes you more positive to your fellow human beings but also helps you subconsciously.

When you smile, your brain recognizes which muscles are being used. This ensures that it releases more happiness hormones.

Smile affects not only your appearance but also your own attitude and your own happiness.


If you are unsure about what your strengths are, make a list. I do not expect you to create a psychological profile of yourself. But think about what qualities you would call strengths, and what qualities might not be as pronounced as you would like.

Take some time to Think deeply. If you have the list, try to play out your strengths and work on your weaknesses.

However, it is important that you do not work exclusively on your weaknesses, but really use your strengths.


Reading books has many advantages.

Reading is for your brain what training is for your body.

It boosts your creativity, your general education, keeps your brain fit and much more.

All of these attributes of reading directly or indirectly affect your self-confidence.

There are also several helpful self-esteem books that you could read to help increase that.


It is important that you take time for your body. After all, you should feel good.

Sport affects not only your external appearance but also on your self-image. Sport is ideal for overcoming sluggishness or energy valleys. Go jogging, spin a bike, go to the gym or just take a walk. It does not matter how you exercise.

You will feel better afterwards. Not only do you have more energy and zest for life, but you also have the experience of accomplishing something at the same time. And that always feels good.

Both the joy of life and energy, as well as the improved appearance is a super boost for your self-confidence!


This statement is naturally taken from the outside. But as banal as it sounds, it is just right.

You have no advantage in being tormented by something you do not want. No matter what goals you set. If you tackle these without having a spark of fun, it will be hard to achieve them.

Nothing hurts motivation more than lack of fun. And if you want to stay on top of something, you have to have fun doing it.

Give yourself the permission to be proud of yourself. Even if you have done only a fraction of the big picture. Give yourself some time to celebrate. Reward yourself. As a result, the long-term motivation is also easier to maintain.

Treat yourself well!

Have fun with your personal development. It also means that you set the pace for it. Do not let anyone interfere with you. Even if it means that you only take a small step every day. Everything is better than a standstill!


I hope these 10 tips can help you gain more confidence and ultimately become more confident.

After all, it's just important that you are at peace with yourself. Then you can also be self-confident.

Here are all tips once again in list form:

  • Take responsibility for your actions and your life
  • Allow yourself to act
  • Pay attention to your posture
  • Accept your mistakes
  • Think positively and keep a positive attitude
  • smile
  • Discover and use your strengths
  • Read books
  • Do sports
  • Have fun with your life and your development

With these tips, you can become more confident.

Now it's up to you!


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